


Two Out of Three

by wonker8



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, baby don't hurt me, what is love?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 07:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonker8/pseuds/wonker8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Out of Three

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for this [prompt](http://trekkink.livejournal.com/896.html?thread=23680#t23680) in the trekkink meme.

Jim Kirk knows how these things work.

When you first fall in love, it's head-over-heels, heart-racing kind of love that consumes everything. From there, you have to work on keeping the love alive. You talk to the other person, you spend time with them, and, most importantly, you let the other have room to breathe. You have to work at it, but then you'll be an official couple and you'll be happy. Sure, there'll be a few bumps along the way. There's always bumps. It's how you know it's love.

But in that kind of traditional love, this kind of dilemma doesn't exist.

Jim rests his forehead against the window of the C-deck. Bones sighs and he holds up a cup of brandy towards him.

“You've been with the damned Hobgoblin for the two weeks and you're already this depressed?”

“It's not like that,” Jim grumbles. He accepts the glass, pushing away from the window and turning to face his best friend.

“Then what? Things not working out for you in the bedroom?”

“As surprising as I'm sure this sounds, I do know that a relationship isn't based on sex alone.” Jim gives Bones a meaningful look before taking a gulp of the brandy. “And just for the record, things in the bedroom are awesome.”

Rolling his eyes, Bones pours himself a cup and looks at Kirk with slight annoyance. “Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a mind-reader. If you're going to whine, then tell me what's wrong.”

“It's just that...” Jim sighs and rubs the back of his neck, trying to make his reason not sound as pathetic as it would if he says it out loud. “Vulcans live for a real long time.”

There's the briefest pause as Bones makes the connection. Then the doctor's eyes are filled with not just understanding, but pity as well. It makes Jim's ears burn, because damn it, that's not what he wants. That's not why he told Bones this. But instead of making fun of him, as Jim feared, Bones just pats his friend's shoulder.

“I'm a doctor, Jim,” Bones says, softly. Almost sadly. “Not a marriage counselor. But even I know that you're going to have to talk to Spock.”

“I know,” Jim answers back, his voice echoing the softness. “It's just... hard. What do I say to him? How do I bring it up? Do I just...”

“Jim,” his friend says calmly. “You can't avoid him. The past two days was hell. Spock drove everyone insane with worry and then some. I know you haven't seen him, since you were busy dodging him, but he looks bad, Jim. You need to talk to him and you need to do it soon.”

The young Captain nods slowly. Bones can only hope that this isn't going to end up in a disaster.  
*  
“Captain.” There's relief in Spock's voice. Relief and fear and anger. And if Jim didn't know any better, he would have said that there is also a bit of worry. Of course, Spock will deny any accusations of having emotions. So Jim doesn't bring it up.

“Spock. I'm...” He pauses to look at his love and sees what Bones was talking about. The sunken eyes. The mournful quirk of the head. The paleness (more pale than usual). The smallest fraction of his hair mussed. He doesn't know who it was who told him that Vulcans did not show emotions or are ever illogical. But he knows for a fact that it's wrong. The proof is in front of him right now. “I'm sorry.”

“Captain... Jim. Was there a reason why you... avoided me?”

Taking a deep breath, Jim looks at Spock in the eye. “Yes. It's just...”

“Am I not to your standards? Did I upset you? I do not understand. You are always so direct with how you feel. How have I displeased you in some way?” Was Spock... pleading? “If so, then I beg your pardon and ask politely for a chance to redeem myself.”

“No, Spock! You haven't displeased me. It's not you. It's not you at all.”

“Then we are... 'breaking up'?”

Jim looks down at his feet. “I don't know.”

“Please expand.”

“I...” There are thousand and one ways to phrase this. And in the end, what comes out of his mouth is...

“Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?”

Spock freezes. His back tenses up, shoulders straightening in a classic Vulcan no-emotion mode. Jim's seen this too much time to be hurt by it. Instead, he pushes on.

“Spock, you're a Vulcan. Okay, half. But you're Vulcan, and we've both seen that you live for a really long time. But me? I'm just a human. I'm going to grow old. I'm going to get wrinkly and disgusting and holy hell, I really hope I don't end up losing my sanity, but there's no guarantee. I'm probably going to be mopey as fuck and grumpy. I'm going to lose my muscles and I'm probably going to get fat as well. Can you really love me?”

There's silence on Spock's end. And Jim shakes his head. “I know, I know. It's really far off into the future. And who knows? Maybe we'll die on the next mission. But... it bugs me. That one day, you won't want to look at me because I'm old and-”

“I do not know.”

It's Jim's turn to freeze now. He stops and looks up, staring into Spock's intense onyx eyes. Troubled. His eyes looked troubled and deeply saddened. “I do not know,” he repeats, looking back into Jim's stunned blue eyes. “I hadn't realized that you wanted this to be long-term. So I did not think about what it would mean to continue it.”

Jim nods. See? Even Spock thought-

“But if you are willing to have me, then I will stay. I do not know how I will feel in the future, Jim. And I cannot offer you promises of things I do not know. But as long as you want me, I will stay. Whatever you look like, I will stay. However grumpy you are, I will stay. I will always be loyal to you, no matter what. That is a definite that will not change.”

“You will always be loyal?”

“Yes.”

“And you'll stay, if I ask?”

“You only need to give the word.”

“But you're not sure if you'll love me in the future.”

“Love is an emotion that-”

Jim chuckles and shakes his head. “Two out of three ain't bad,” he admits. He looks down at the ground again, thinking. Spock waits patiently, staring at Jim.

And finally, Jim looks up. His icy blue eyes meet Spock's black ones. Taking a soft breath in, the young Captain nods. “I want you to stay. For as long as you and I are alive.”

“It shall be done.”

There's a small quirk of the eyes that clues Jim in that Spock's smiling. Jim smiles. Because in the end, hasn't he been asking the wrong question? In the end, it isn't about beauty or youth. Nor is it about love. It's about the mutual trust and respect. It's about loyalty.

It's about two souls holding on to one another.

And really, that's all that matters.


End file.
